if you have a crush on someone and you know theyre aromantic/romance-repulsed, but you’re still try to ask them out romantically anyways thinking you’re gonna be an exception then: fuck you™
Anonymous inquired: about a year ago i realized i was a lesbian and now i think i'm grayro or arospec but i don't know for sure? i feel like i'm too young to know for sure (i'm in high school) so i was wondering how you knew for sure that you were aro (if it isn't too personal) because you seem pretty confident about it.
it’s not too personal at all don’t worry! and don’t worry abt thinking ur “too young to know” bc i’m also in high school and i’ve been confident in my identity for a while!
i came across the word like two years ago when i was looking up some information for a story i was working on at the time and i did some more research on it and read through personal experiences from ppl and it clicked w/ me? like i used to assign myself crushes based on what other ppl thought i would like, i got extremely uncomfortable in romantic relationships to the point where i dreaded ever going out w/ my partner and i hated dates, and i realized that the idea of romance as a thing was so unappealing to me?
it was all a matter of thinking abt my experiences w/ romantic attraction and how. i don’t actually have any haha they were all made up bc that’s what i thought i had to be?? like when i thought i might like girls i made a crush on my best friend up bc i was attracted to her, i just didn’t want to date her??
my advice would be to think abt times where u might have had a crush on someone and think abt if it was rly a crush? and also if u can’t think of any, think of the idea of dating someone and having a crush and see how that feels to u!
Do you want to know what’s a strange feeling? Having a platonic crush on someone. You go through all the same crap as with a romantic crush, trying to impress them, not wanting to seem over eager, wanting to talk to them all the time. The only difference is, instead of wanting to kiss them until they can’t breathe, you want to rent all of the movies with them and have a sleep over. It’s rather disconcerting.
this post is good except kissing isn’t inherently romantic and people can kiss platonically and want to kiss others platonically
I’m planning to put together a document that will feature a thorough examination of aromantic identity and queerplatonic relationships. I need input of personal stories from real aromantic and aro-spectrum people to include so that the maximum people contribute to defining things without me monopolizing it.
Are you with an educational facility?
No, I’m not associated with a university or anything. This isn’t very formal - it’s not going to get published, per se. But it will be posted on qpadvice eventually to be used as an open public resource for others to read and share.
What can I contribute?
Coming out stories, stories of realization that you were aro, stories of relationships, stories of how you deal with media onslaught of romantically heavy movies and shows, etc. Pretty much anything that you feel is defining for you and that you want to share.
How long are we taking here?
I’m looking for your personal experience in three asks or less. I can’t include a novel of your life story - I want to keep this concentrated on the aromantic experience in a world that is heavily romantically inclined. You can send me an ask, or a fan mail.
Is this anonymous?
It’s completely your choice. If you say anonymous, it can be. If you want me to publish info, that’s cool too. The amount is up to you. You can hide your name but reveal your location, age, ethnicity, etc. Or you can include everything. Literally you are in full control of what you want shown and what you think should be displayed.
Can I contribute if I’m not aro?
If you are on the spectrum, feel free! (Gray aro, aro flux, akoiromantic, etc…) If you are romantic, please help out by reblogging.
Where do I send it?
Please send it to Chekhovandowl’s askbox or fan mail. You can also email me at chekhovs.owl@gmail.com (please keep it concise. If you cannot, please understand that I might trim it down a little to make it more digestible. “
